Romantic Moments in Polyamory

Image Text: tweeted once that I thought polyamory was unromantic and upon further consideration I think what I mean is: if you really love someone, I don't understand why you wouldn't want to witness them every moment you could

Here is a non-exhaustive list of moments that I find deeply open-hearted romantic that are more common in polyamory:

• Having a moment of emotional vulnerability surrounded by all of your partners. Something about having the full visibility of the abundant love in your life.

• Sitting and having tea with the lover of your lover, and even just for a moment wanting her to have the world. Society has set you up to either hate or fear this person, and to love her feels romantic in its defiance.

• That moment when your partner supports you in loving another person.

• That moment when your partner is bubbling to you about their time spent with another.

• Holding hands with two people at the same time.

• The Looking forward to and planning of a weekend where none of your lovers are available. It is not unique to polyamory, but the romance of it is escalates in how much rarer of an occurrence it is.

• Seeing novel sides of your partner that come out when they begin an intimacy with someone new.

• Seeing your lover take care of another one of your lovers.

• When two of your partners plan something special for you.

These are just small romantic moments! This is not a "why people practice polyamory" or even "what love means to people who practice polyamory vs monogamy".

Those are much bigger questions, and I bet monogamy/polyamory tend to have a lot in common with each other in those domains (a monogamous person reads your think-piece and yells on their hill, "I care about my friends! Meaningfully! I care about them so, so much." A polyamorous person looks out at your tweet-thread from the vantage of their 10+ year relationship to their spouse and gives a deep sigh).

I bet it comes down to more how an individual person practices love than general trends in the orientation themselves. I do have quite a few thoughtful friends in both romantic orientations, so it might be an interesting question to approach one day. What are actual philosophical differences in how the groups practice love?